Dark Days ~ Look for the Light

Monday, October 6th, 2014 at 7:37 PM by CALF (Sharon) Life at Calf

As a compassionate vegan there are many times that i feel alone….
I do not really mind being alone as i’ve never really felt comfortable with human beings, so most of the time i do not give it a great deal of thought and i just get on with life.
But there are some days that i see and feel things that i cannot help but feel totally alone….and i know there are many people who will and do feel far worse than me.
Those who live a life surrounded by family and friends that are on totally different planets. When you feel ostracized simply because you care, when you know that you are not invited places because you are an embarrassment  or you may make people feel uncomfortable. Yes i understand that being vegan makes others think and question their lifestyle but for some reason it causes chaos …..
The longer i am vegan the more i have learnt that in many cases especially when family are involved, then its best to just be quiet, to not say anything about my lifestyle…Yet they just cannot resist broaching the subject and then when you respond to try and defend your cruelty free habits you are classed as angry and aggressive.
Sometimes you just cannot win, you are not allowed to speak to a meat eater about their eating habits yet its totally acceptable for them to tackle you from every angle they please…Be it world hunger, climate change, rainforest decimation, soya growth issues, health problems protein deficiency, animal extinction …
The lists go on and on as soon as the word VEGAN is mentioned, those who offend seem to become experts in every field…Yet woooaaaa betide you know the answers to the barrage of questions….Then your a militant vegan.
Today i have felt like i am a vegan leper for many different reasons…..I see and feel huge divides coming between myself and family, simply because we are on different journeys yet am i supposed to punish myself for caring or do i protect my own sanity ….
Being vegan really is a test on so many levels…
In the face of adversity i will become stronger.
Today more than ever i learnt what it feels like to feel “different”  I am me and i love me, no fakery or falseness.
I want to be surrounded by like minded people who care, who understand the sadness, who get WHY i love my animals so much….
People who want to be part of making a difference…..
People who give not a jot about what designer top or scent they are wearing…
People who don’t mind wearing tatty clothes covered in hay and lamb poop.
I want the dream, yet everyday it seems to slip further away….At one point in life i was there i almost touched the dream, then it was ripped away as i tried to cling ….Obviously the time was not right i had more to learn….
YET i know i am ready now, ready to make a change, make a difference ….Yet my accountant tells me my books say a different story… This coming year i HAVE to achieve….I HAVE to make a difference… Calf could do so much….IF ONLY i could get the support, an investor, people who believe in me Millions of people on the planet…Surely there are people out there just like me who want to do something….If we UNITE we can do so much more.
The moral to the story

No matter what you see hear and feel, no matter how much it hurts, be proud of YOU and who you are, caring is not a punishable crime….Living vegan is something to be proud of not ashamed of

Look for the light, focus on something or someone thsat makes you feel good, that gives you reason to carry on and understand why the alienation you feel is no big deal, its just that they cannot see the way you see, feel proud….Dust yourself off and carry on

Today two beings i adore showed me WHY the hurt i feel is worth it

I was in the field today getting ready for the cows  moving into winter housing…When my boy milo, last years lamb rescue, ran up to me so excited as ive not seen him for a while….He pushed his face close to mine, as a baby he would snuggle and i would kiss his face….Milo needs me, he loves to be loved and even though he is a teenage tearaway now he still remembers the good times


Then there is our Edradore ….I know he feels lonely, he looks lost at times, he must miss his family…..and i totally get it, i understand but sometimes sacrifices have to be made to live life to the full….We are all sentient animals, i find the human version a dead loss yet the animal sentient …..They are my friends X


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